A Rough Beginning

    Several doctors were upset with me for having a fifth child when I already had four healthy children because my pregnancies were considered risky. My fifth pregnancy had been a rough one with ruptured blood vessels and trouble walking and standing. After Haley was born I got a lot of pressure from doctors and family not to have any more children. Five was more than enough. My doctor set up an appointment with me for a long term birth control method she was using with her patients. I kept praying over what to do. I didn't feel peaceful at all about not having any more children, in fact I felt a great conflict in my heart and soul. I went to my doctor's appointment and when she started talking to me about the procedure they wanted to do I could not stop crying. She looked at me and said she advised this procedure but she would not be able to do anything with the frame of mind I was in. She sent me home to talk it over my husband.

I had five beautiful and healthy children. That should have been enough.

     It was an interesting coincidence that we had some friends at the time who had had three children when the husband decided three was enough and he had a vasectomy. Their three children were teenagers when his wife had a dream where a little boy came and talked to her. It happened almost every night and she told her husband she really felt like this child was visiting her because he was supposed to be in their family. Her husband said, "NO!". She kept getting these dreams so she got down on her knees and prayed. She told her Heavenly Father that she was willing to have more children but her husband wasn't, so he was the one who needed these dreams. That very night he had a dream where a little boy came and talked to him. The next morning he told his wife that he felt like they were supposed to have more children. He had his surgery reversed and they had two more little boys, children they could not imagine life without.

     I didn't have any dreams like that. I just kept praying and I felt like there was someone else who was supposed to be a part of our family. I became pregnant and then I felt absolute peace. My pregnancy was long and miserable and I had to be off my feet a lot of the time. My mother had to come and help me out towards the end when things got worse. Then came the big day. Our baby boy arrived in July on his brother Cory's birthday. Cory thought it was pretty neat to get a baby brother for a birthday present. Dallin decided to come fast at the last minute and he was delivered by a nurse just like his brother Cory. They have had a lot in common. It was like having twins born 5 years apart. My baby was here and I knew he was meant to be a part of our family. He was a beautiful baby and we named him Dallin.

     My absolute peace didn't last because Dallin was quickly in distress after being born. He had been delivered so fast he got a lot of fluid in his lungs and he was breathing too fast. He turned gray in color in a hurry and needed more oxygen. His lungs were not working like they should so Dallin was placed in an oxygen tent and we didn't get to hold him. He also developed a fever. He was hooked up to an IV and to monitors. It was hard to see someone so small hooked up to so much. After a day he was taken out of the oxygen tent and a cannula was put in his nose to help him breath. I spent most of my time in the intensive care nursery holding, rocking and feeding him. I said quite a few prayers for him to get better. The hospital wanted to send me home the next day and keep Dallin, who still wasn't doing very well. I was heartbroken. I didn't think I could stand to leave him in the hospital by himself. That night I could not stop shaking and the nurse touched me and told me I was burning up. She took my temperature and it was 104.2 degrees and I could hardly stand up or walk. I had an IV started so I could get intravenous antibiotics in case I had an infection. I had to stay in the hospital. I have never been more thankful to have a fever. I got wheeled down in a wheelchair and I continued to hang out for hours in the intensive care nursery. I didn't want Dallin to be alone. The family would come to visit every day. While spending all this time in the intensive care nursery I became acquainted with some of the other mothers with sick babies or birth defects and we became friends. One morning when I went down to the nursery, one of the babies and his mother were gone. I found out from the nurse that her baby had died during the night. That day as I rocked Dallin and touched his sweet soft little face I just kept crying. I felt so sad for this mother who didn't get to take her baby home. I felt very thankful I didn't have to be torn apart by something like that.
    Finally after five days it was time for me to go home. I was given a choice to either leave Dallin in the hospital or take him home with oxygen. I had worked several years in the hospital and worked with sick babies. I knew I could do this and I chose to take him home.

They took this picture at the hospital without the oxygen but he scared the nurse because he turned gray so fast

His Dad visited him in the hospital intensive care

     We were given two oxygen tanks and plenty of tubing and we were sent home. As we drove up to the house it touched me to see the tree in our front yard covered in yellow ribbons welcoming Dallin and I home. The kids had also made a cute sign they hung up in the house. They were all excited to have their mom and new baby brother back home. I was also thankful that my mother was able to stay and help me. Dallin got a lot of attention and the kids would fight over who got to hold him.

I didn't sleep very well at night. I had an obsession with checking the dial on his oxygen and making sure it was on the right number. It didn't help that I had known a boy growing up who had become blind because he was given too much oxygen when he was a baby. I just kept checking on him over and over in the night. I had to keep my little baby well and I would just have to try to sleep later.

A tree covered in yellow ribbons welcoming us home

Happy to have their baby brother home

The oxygen tank was bigger and heavier than he was

     I took him to a doctors appointment a couple of days after bringing him home and his bilirubin numbers were off and he was turning yellow. A nurse came over to our house that day and brought what looked like a big metal suitcase, which had lights inside of it. Dallin had to be under the lights most of the time with eye pads over his eyes and hooked to oxygen all the time. It was a lot of work and we felt bad for Dallin. Winn thought it looked like he was in a tanning bed. When Dallin got older he told his friends he slept in a suitcase when he was a baby. His friends probably worried about what kind of parents he had.

     Dallin's brothers and sisters loved him from the start and wanted to hold him all the time. They were very sweet with him. They couldn't hold him much when he was sleeping in his suitcase. We were happy when the numbers were better and we got rid of the suitcase. But his need for oxygen continued. Once a week a man would come out to our house and measure the level of oxygen Dallin was getting on his own. Every week we hoped he would tell us he was well enough to breath on his own. But every week he would tell us he wasn't doing well at all, give us more tanks and cannulas and leave. His numbers went way down when he was eating and he would hold his breath. We were told that Dallin would choose breathing over eating and he wouldn't grow very well. Which is funny now because he is 6'4” and still growing. Dallin would quickly turn a horrible gray color when taken off the oxygen.  I was getting discouraged . Dallin's face was very sensitive and his skin was raw from the tape and bandages used to hold the cannula. We were all discouraged and I needed more sleep.

Dallin was loved deeply by his siblings

Haley holding him while I changed his clogged tube. His face was just starting to get sore from the tape

We tried band-aids because the tape was so hard on his skin. The kids wanted him to have fun ones.

    The days stretched to weeks with no end in sight. One week as I was praying for Dallin I got a strong feeling that he needed to get his name and blessing in church. We took Dallin and his tank to church and he was given a blessing by his father. One of the things Dallin was blessed with was health. All of our friends wished us well. That week when the man came out to test Dallin's oxygen, the numbers had so drastically improved that he thought his machine was broken. He told me that the numbers never changed that much in a week. He told me to keep Dallin on oxygen and he would be out the next day to test him again with a different machine. He came out the next day and Dallin's reading was normal again. This man was in awe at how fast things changed for Dallin. He called our doctor who gave us the OK to take him off the oxygen. I was thankful for answered prayers, for miracles and to finally have a healthy baby boy to raise. I have been thankful thousands of times I had Dallin and didn't listen to all the people who told me not to have him. He has blessed my life in countless ways.

Breathing on his own

Dallin was a fun and happy baby

My family is now complete. These children have made my life so much happier.

I Am Thankful For Haley

   I am thankful for Haley. Each one of my children has taught me lessons that I have not learned from anyone else. I have been in awe as I have watched them navigate through life. I watched Haley steer her life through some very rough times and come through every rocky patch a stronger person. Haley has touched my heart in many ways. I love how no matter what has come her way she has faced it with courage and a song in her heart. I also learned during her struggles in life the importance of family and how protective we all are of Haley and how much we love her. 

    During high school Haley once went on what turned out to be an extremely bad date. A boy she liked took her to a party. She didn't know anyone at the party because he went to a different high school than she did so it wasn't much fun as he talked to everyone he knew. After they left the party she started feeling sick. She thought it must have been something she ate at the party. Next, the two of them went to a dance. Haley was still feeling sick so this boy left her in his car and he went to the dance. Haley spent the evening throwing up in a bag in his car and out in the parking lot. She threw up over and over again. He came and checked on her a few times and joked with her that he wouldn't let just anyone throw up in his car. She was in his car sick and throwing up while he danced for 3 hours and she said she threw up over 17 times. She got really cold in his car so she turned the heater on, which ran the car battery down. The car had to be jump-started before they could go home at the end of the evening. It was a terrible night for her. Haley called me several times while she was cold and sick in his car. I wanted to come and get her since this boy was only thinking about himself and his desire to dance and not her. She held out, hoping she would start feeling better. I loved how optimistic she was in a very bad situation and how strongly her brothers felt about this. I loved how they wanted to keep her away from this boy because of how he treated her that night. I also knew my boys would never treat a girl like this.

I have always been thankful for children who love each other

This was taken when Cory was gone on his mission

    Haley also dated a boy for three years off and on. This boy kept capturing her heart and soul and then distancing himself and finding new girlfriends when they were separated and he did it over and over again. This is a time when Haley told me that emotional pain was far worse than physical pain. She felt like this was worse than anything else she had ever been through because she really loved him. One night I found her lying on the bathroom floor sobbing and I hugged her and cried with her. I didn't know how to make her feel better when the pain of what her boyfriend had put her through was so bad. Then Katie came into the bathroom and sat on the floor with us. As long as I live I will never forget us three girls sitting on the bathroom floor hugging, crying and talking, united in an effort to make this wounded child feel better. I was struck pretty powerfully at that moment about the importance of family and the love and strength of a united family to get a family member through tough times. Haley's sister and brothers were amazing to watch as they rallied together to help her in her hard times. I knew they would do almost anything to protect Haley. I also knew that Haley, with this kind of love to back her up, would be able to weather any storm.

These sisters had broken hearts at the same time and really helped each other out.

I loved how they belted out the song "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson when they had broken hearts together.

   Haley has now started college and her challenges with her health and the boys have continued. She recently took a hard fall mountain biking with her brother and she got some of her concussion symptoms back. Brett got scared when he found her face down in the dirt with her bike on top of her.

    This past year Haley has had some very scary allergy attacks where she needed emergency help. On one of those days she got on the treadmill at her apartment complex and as soon as she touched it hives spread up her arms and her nose and eyes started to water. She rubbed her nose and eyes and then her eyes and throat started to swell up. In a matter of minutes she could hardly talk or breath. Her roommates rushed her to the emergency room and called up Brett, who rushed over to the hospital to be there for her. She had sacks of fluid that swelled up in the back of her throat. Even the doctor was scared and they had to give her more shots than usual, have her breath in medicine and they started an IV in a rush to get her breathing. I was 600 miles away and I felt helpless because I was not there to help her. Knowing Brett was there was a big relief. He is a wonderful brother and I knew he would not leave her alone and would do anything for her. Even with school the next day he didn't leave her side and sat in the hospital half the night until she felt better. I was thankful he wasn't like some of the boys Haley had dated, but was the type of boy who would put other people first and love his sister through anything.

Haley's brothers love her and always want to spend time with her

Haley is a lot of fun. That is why her siblings and friends are always trying to get more time with her

      Haley has also had more stalkers since high school and boys who have let her down. The boys really love her wherever she goes. She has always gotten a crazy amount of attention. We would have church parties or go to school functions and she was always the girl who was surrounded by the boys. This poor girl has had some of these boys get so attached to her they will never give up and they would do about anything to stay in her life. Some of these boys have done crazy things in a desperate attempt to keep her. She has had to shut down her facebook multiple times and have the family rally in an effort to protect and sometimes hide her. She was blessed with a family that would do anything for her. Haley has always been the kind of girl who people have been drawn to, old and young, male or female.

The boys have always loved Haley

I think one of the reasons the boys have always liked her is because she loves to do everything and she makes everything more fun.

     Haley has been surrounded by friends her whole life, boys and girls who absolutely love her and some who even worshiped her. I would look at her amazing ability at collecting friends and how devoted they were to her and how much they loved her and I wondered what it was about this child of mine that had such a gift. Her friends would fight over her all the time. In watching Haley I noticed she would drop anything and put herself last in order to be there for a friend. She would be tired or emotionally wiped out, like when her longtime boyfriend had put her through such a rough time, and she would still run off in a heartbeat to help a friend and her friends would never even know what Haley herself was going through. I loved and admired that in Haley. I remember one Christmas when all of Haley's friends were constantly calling and needing her and she wasn't getting any sleep. She was wiped out. She told me that she felt like she kept giving away pieces of Haley until there were no more pieces of Haley left. I told her she needed to tell her friends "no" more often and take care of herself. But still she just had to be there for her friends. She is so much fun to be around that family and friends are always fighting for time to spend with her. It has been amazing to watch. This girl has a power I haven't seen in anyone else. I helped at girl's camp and I would watch her with some of the younger girls who were struggling at camp or church and in no time she would have these little girls following her everywhere. She had made them feel loved and made their lives more fun.

Here Haley is talking to the younger girls at camp trying to make sure they were having fun

She loves being active and trying new things

The girl on Haley's left is one of the girls who loved Haley and followed her around at camp.

    Haley is so fun to be around that people want to be in the same room and bask in her light? She lights up a room when she walks into it. She is funny and always fun. Haley is also unpredictable and always adds a spark of fun to anything, even what should be boring. I am convinced her life will always be an adventure and full of fun for anyone whose life she touches. Haley's sister and brothers would always end up in Haley's room. That was always where the fun was. She would have them dancing, singing and laughing their hearts out in no time. Here are a few of those times I have caught on tape.

Here is the link to another fun time in Haley's room:
https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=2850763483068
And only Haley could talk her brothers into this:

Haley loves to dance with her brothers and sister in her room

   What I also love about Haley is that she is always singing. I always knew she was home if I could hear her singing. It was tough when she went away to school and our house was so quiet. I love hearing her sing. She even sang when her heart was broken. She used music to help her get through the tough times. She has written some beautiful sad love songs.

Haley loved to sing even when she was little

She has been asked to sing at many functions

She sang in the choirs and singing groups at school

She sometimes plays the guitar and sings with her father

Haley sang in the school talent show

    Haley has had many opportunities to sing in her life, in musicals, at church, voice recitals and competitions. I will never get tired of hearing her beautiful voice floating through the house or hearing her sing at functions she is asked to sing at. She is very talented. She was asked to sing the star spangled banner at Emily’s Parade, a motorcycle rally held each year where motorcyclists ride between the 2 schools in Colorado where children were killed in school shootings. It is held to raise money for victims of violence. It was a great honor for her to be asked to sing at this, in front of thousands of people.

     Haley was also asked by her voice teacher to compete in the NATS competition (National Association of Teachers of Singers). She did not think she would do very well. She has always been very humble in her talents. 500 kids from several states were competing. The kids are judged by voice teachers. She moved up the ranks and made it as one of the 5 best singers in this big competition. She has recently joined a band in college and done some performances. She originally wanted to be a voice teacher and be a vocal music major but she has since changed her mind and decided she wants to be a nurse, that helping people would make her happier. That would be perfect for her. She would light up a hospital room and I can picture her cheering up people who are sick. I am impressed that Haley chose helping people over pursuing her love of singing. But I hope she never stops singing. She has a gift. I also love how she always mouthed "I love you mom" after every performance. This is link for Haley singing the song she sang for her NATS competition:

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1221551833795

Haley with her piano player and voice teacher after the NATS competition

I loved how Haley wore her tennis shoes instead of high heels when she was a Mr. Columbine escort. She was never afraid to be who she wanted to be and she doesn't try to be like everybody else. I also love how Goodwill is one of her favorite stores. She didn't have to have all the latest expensive fashions like a lot of her peers.

I love how no matter what honors or leads in plays that came to Haley she never thought she was better than anyone else, she never bragged or told anyone about her honors and she always treated everyone kindly.

Here she dressed up as a homeless person on sophistication day at school, when everyone else dressed up. She has always thought outside the box.

She even made some money in her tin cup at school

    I am thankful for Haley and what she has taught me in more ways than I can express here. I have had a lot of close times with Haley, down on our knees praying and crying together in hard times, laughing so hard we cry, dancing and singing together and talking late into the night. I have had many people tell me how Haley has touched their lives. I feel very blessed to be her mother and have the privilege to bask in her ever glowing life of sunshine and fun. Thank you Haley for making life so much fun and teaching me how to laugh, have fun, sing my way through life, treat my friends well and how to find rainbows after a rainstorm. I love you.

"Be as a bird perched on a frail branch that
she feels bending beneath her,
still she sings away all the same,
knowing she has wings."------Victor Hugo

Haley sings all kinds of songs and I love them all. Here are just a few of many:

This is Haley's band performing:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=191643810948639