When Life Touched My Heart: August 2012

A few years ago I became friends with a man at church who had had a rough life. He had lived a life addicted to drugs and alcohol and he grew up in a family where everyone fought and hated each other. Now they rarely even saw or spoke to each other. I admired him because of his fight to rise above how he was raised and what had happened to him and for his strong desire to help other people. He wanted to be there for people who had traveled the same road he had. He spent hours trying to help people with drug and alcohol addictions and to find God and come back to church. He was amazing to watch and listen to. Some miracles had brought him back to God and he felt like he owed God something. I will never forget the day he approached me in the hallway at church and said, "I want your family". I was surprised by this and I asked him why. He told me that he had watched us laugh, play and have fun together and he wished he could have had a family like that growing up. He told me he would have traded all he owned for it. I encouraged him to build that kind of life with his wife and children since there was nothing he could do to change his past. While we were talking my two daughters came around the corner with their arms linked together and they were laughing and singing. He pointed to them down the hall and said, "See what I mean. I want your family."

I have thought a lot about this since, about how much I take for granted and what makes me happy. I grew up in a family of eleven children. We are and always have been a very close family. I wanted that for my children. I have been around families that yell and scream at each other and I did not want that for my children. I think I was born without an anger gene. Anger has never made sense to me. I think there is a calm peaceful way to handle everything. After Dallin was born I had six children to watch over and raise. I had a few people at different times tell me that my children would walk all over me because I never yelled at them, that they would not know who was the boss. It was just not who I was. I couldn't be like that. I remember worrying about whether these friends were right, if I was too soft and mellow. Once I was very frustrated with my children and one of them said, "I think Mom is upset and she might actually yell at us." I didn't and I never could. I was more likely to cry than to yell when I got feeling overwhelmed. I was outnumbered 6 to 1 while my husband Winn was at work. I worried a lot over whether I was tough enough. But I started watching my children and how much they loved each other and how peacefully they resolved conflicts and I came to a point where I was glad they never learned yelling and anger from me. They were peaceful, got along great and loved each other. I am now happy I am missing the anger gene. Maybe it is something we learn from our parents. My parents never yelled at me. I didn't yell at my children and I seldom see my children lose their tempers.

Most days I was out-numbered 6 to 1

So here came my sixth child and I got to watch these children of mine learn to love him and each other. There were a lot of times I was touched watching them help, love and look out for each other. Dallin was blessed to be at the end. All of his older brothers and sisters loved to show him things, teach him things and make him laugh. I had gotten my wish to have a family that loved each other. I feel thankful to be living happily ever after and to have the kind of family that other people want.