I am Thankful for Cory

     There have been times in each of my children's lives when I have felt very close to them. With Cory it was kneeling in prayer with him when he was going through hard times, helping him jump some big hurdles in his life, helping him with big projects and laughing uncontrollably with him. I saw him go through hard times and I saw him battle his way back stronger than before, becoming a power to be reckoned with. With Cory I have seen his struggles for friends at different times and felt helpless when he got swallowed up in loneliness. All I could do was give him a happy home and hope it all worked out. I loved how Cory learned to pick himself up, dust himself off and find things he was good at, things that made him happy, to crowd out the things that made him sad. I also liked how he fought to be good to people because people had not always been good to him.

One of Cory's unique pictures. He has done some amazing artwork, comics and doodles

One of his doodles. He draws on everything, filling pages with amazing art.

      Cory is an amazing artist and he poured his talent into making beautiful things, paintings, drawings, whatever. He loves to create things. As I watched Cory grow up, what I admired most was that he didn't sit around and feel sorry for himself when he felt blue, he either started making something or he would make someone else happy. One of the first jobs he had was perfect for him, where he could create things and make people happy. He worked for a lady who owned a company called Fabulous Events where he got to help her decorate fabulous looking parties. While he worked for her he also got to dress up as a dinosaur and hug children and make them smile, which he was good at. I loved that Cory could pick up a piece of paper or other material and create things. I learned from him, that if I am sad, I can create things or go out and make people happy and I will feel better.

One of the parties Cory helped with. There was also a blue room. He had to blows up thousands of balloons

A perfect job for Cory

Even his sister and brother got a hug

    When Cory was in elementary school he and I spent hours working on some very complex Halloween costumes for school. We had a lot of fun working and laughing together, even when we kept having problems with the costumes we were making. It was fun to build a strong mother and son bond creating things together. When he wore these costumes he would get a lot of attention and be important for a day, in a world that sometimes treated him as unimportant. It really made him shine for a day. So we were encouraged to make the next year even better than the year before. Nothing makes a mother feel better than watching a child shine, watching a child smile and feel important, plus we had so much fun working together. Cory has always been able to make me laugh, many times so hard it brought tears to my eyes.

Being abducted by aliens

Granny watching the baby

This costume gave us a lot of trouble but everyone loved it

    During and after high school Cory liked Anime (Japanese animated cartoons) and took a Japanese language class. There was a big Anime convention every year where people would dress up like Anime characters and spend a weekend hanging out together for several days. As a family we went to some of these conventions just to look at all the hundreds of people dressed up. It was crazy how elaborate some of these people would dress up. It was like visiting another planet. One year Cory spent a lot of time on a costume that didn't work out and he had to give up at the last minute. He wanted the next year, before he left on a church mission, to be the very best. He spent months planning and making parts of his costume and he wanted it to look exactly like the character. He wanted it to be perfect. He designed the whole thing and he had a LOT of problems along the way and by the end he was worried he wouldn't get it done in time. Cory and I worked on his costume around the clock for several weeks. We ran into a lot of problems trying to figure out how to do all the little parts. We were working on it day and night and he was even late to the convention because we had had so many technical difficulties. I knew how important this was to him so I made it one of my top priorities to help him. The time spent with him working hard for something that was important to him was very rewarding. The payoff came when he stepped out into this big hotel and he was an instant celebrity, people gathering around him, everyone taking his picture and posing with him. Some of his friends freaking out with excitement because they thought he did such an awesome job. He was so happy and proud of himself and the work was all worth it. I felt like crying watching him. All our hard work, sweat, frustration, laughter and time spent together had given him some time to shine in the limelight. I will always look back on this time spent with him as a gift.

This was the character he was trying to duplicate

Some other people at the convention

Cory became Legolas last Halloween

    Cory worked at Walmart after that and he didn't like that job very much but this was another chance for him to be important to someone else. This is his account in his journal: “While I was working this past summer, I had the chance to get to know many interesting people. There was a girl in particular that I became friends with. She had taken a bad path in life. She is now living out of her car, attempted to file for bankruptcy, and running from multiple companies that want money she doesn't have. While I knew her I saw many changes in her life. She would often tell me of how I made such a difference just because I was nice to her. She greatly reduced the number of cuss words that she uses in a day and she is overall happier when I am around. When I first saw this girl, I didn't even expect her to be my friend. I took a chance and found a lonely pearl hiding in the cold sand. I made a difference in her life and helped her feel more welcome in the world.” This girl wrote Cory a sweet note when he left Walmart to serve a mission for 2 years. She was sad to see him go. She was very touched by how sweet he had been to her. Again he had been good to someone who the rest of the world had treated badly. 

He served a church mission in California

    Cory served a 2 year mission for our church in California. He worked hard and had the chance to change more lives. He taught quite a few people about the love of God, people who were struggling with alcohol or other substance addictions, the homeless and people whose lives were in despair. He helped them find God and hope. He was able to see some lives change and see people happy and hopeful for the first times in their lives. We went to pick him up at the end of his mission. There was a meeting we attended where each one of the missionaries spoke and also some of the people whose lives these missionaries had touched. It was a very powerful meeting and I cried all through it. Afterward we were able to meet people Cory had taught and hear how Cory had loved and helped them. What a powerful experience it is to have someone tearfully look at you and tell you what your child meant to them, how much their love changed their lives. There is nothing more gratifying to a parent than that. I am thankful for Cory. I know his journey is just beginning and he will touch more people with the great love and compassion that he has. I feel honored to be his mother and learn so many good things from him. I am a better person having him as a child.

Another way Cory made the most of things, like making a Christmas tree out of a vacuum

He also used his artwork to get more meals on his mission. On a week when no one had signed up to feed them he drew a dying missionary in the desert. The calendar was always filled up after that.

Just a few of the many people who loved Cory and were sad to see him leave

We were happy to see him again and take him home. 

He could also create things out of snow

One night the doorbell rang. I opened it and there was the snowman on the doorstep. It scared me and then I couldn't stop laughing. The snowman had lost his bean eyes in the sunshine that day.

A lot of people drove by our house and stopped when they saw this snowman on our doorstep.

He also carved our tree trunk. Cory, thank you for all the times you have made me smile and laugh. :)

Being Bullied

     Cory loved his first grade teacher Mrs. Hammit. She was the kind of teacher that made sure every child, above anything else, learned that she loved them. During second grade Cory liked to visit her because he missed having her as a teacher. She was always happy to see him. Then we found out Mrs. Hammit had cancer. She continued to teach because she loved children, but as we visited her we noticed she was getting thinner and weaker. We were in awe that she kept teaching. She passed away while Cory was in the second grade. Cory was very sad. It was hard on him to lose a teacher he loved. It was the first time he lost someone he loved. Mrs. Hammit loved her students so much that if they had bad experiences at school, things weren't so bad because they had a teacher who loved them. 

Mrs. Hammit, Cory and his 1st grade class

Mrs. Hammit went to a lot of trouble to make 1st grade fun

Mrs. Hammit liked giving her students awards to make them feel important

     When Cory was in the sixth grade, a boy in his class named Joey committed suicide. It was so sad to know that someone so young, with his whole life ahead of him, had given up on life and its future possibilities. Cory and I went to Joey's funeral. These young sixth grade kids filled the church. Cory and I looked at all of Joey's smiling pictures lining the wall of the church and sat through his very sad funeral. I kept looking at Cory and then at this boy's mother and reflecting on how she must feel to lose her son so young. I kept squeezing Cory's arm and hugging him and thinking how much I loved him and how hard it would be if that ever happened to me. I knew more than I ever had before that day, that my number one job as a mother was to make sure my children knew every day how much I loved them, that no matter what happened to them in life, no matter how hard things got, that home would be a soft happy place for them to fall and there would be a mother there who loved them more than life itself. I knew I had to give being a mother 110%. This was written on Joey's funeral program: 

After the funeral we all released balloons into the sky. We talked about how we hoped Joey was looking down from Heaven at how many people loved him. 

     Then came middle school, a time when Cory really would need me and a home to feel love. Middle school was a hard time for him. He described himself in his journal as a skinny, weak kid with braces and glasses and the kids teased him about being a nerd. I saw him as a handsome, talented, compassionate, smart boy who could always make me laugh. 

Cory won 1st place and a cash prize for the best ornament in a contest held at his Orthodontist's office, so braces weren't all bad

Cory was smart and always on the honor roll

      Then a boy started bullying Cory relentlessly at middle school and pushing him around at lunch. I am peaceful by nature and I seldom get mad but when I found out someone was making Cory's life miserable, it was like building a fire in me. Cory would come home upset and sad and he didn't want to go to school at all. When this boy would push Cory around, Cory said his best friend would just stand there and not try to help him or say anything. Cory made a promise to himself that he would never do that, that if he saw a friend or someone getting picked on he was going to do what he could to help them. I went to the school with Cory and we talked to the counselor. She was sweet with Cory and promised him that the boy would be talked to and Cory would be protected. She kept her promise and this boy left him alone after that. I am thankful for his wonderful counselor. 

Cory could have used some bodyguards at school

Cory drew this picture for me. I wished I could have protected him from everything bad.

    Several times after that Cory had the opportunity to keep the promise he made that day. I taught Cory's Sunday school class at church when he was in high school. I had a class of about 12 kids. I had been a teacher a lot at church and always had mostly well adjusted kids from happy homes. This class had a lot of kids who were really struggling in their lives with a lot of hard trials. I had never taught a class like this before. We had a big mix of kids, quite a few with some pretty big problems. There were several kids who had bad home lives, some with drug problems, self esteem problems, being bullied, etc. I worried over these kids and I grew to love them when I saw into their hearts and souls. Cory was one of a minority that came from a very happy home and really knew who he was and what he believed in. I was in awe of him during the time I taught this class, at how much he accepted and loved people for who they were, flaws and all. Our class kept getting bigger and bigger because kids would come to my class who were supposed to be in the younger class. The Sunday school president would sometimes get mad at me and tell me I needed to send these kids back to the class they were supposed to be in. One boy, named Ronny told this man that he would not come to church at all if he couldn't be in my class, that the kids in our class were a lot nicer than the kids in his class. One of the reasons was Cory. Cory always stuck up for him when anyone picked on him. Ronny was loved and accepted in our class and it made a big difference. We had a girl named Sami in our class who was living with an aunt because her mother was a drug addict. Sami had had a lot of problems with drugs herself and she was flunking all of her classes in high school. The love of this class was amazing to watch. One day when Sami came to class she was very excited because she had a D in one of her classes. No one in the class made fun of the fact she was excited about getting a D or bragged about their own grades. Everyone knew how huge this was for her, how far she had come. Sami had poured out her heart and soul in class about all the horrors and sadness she had seen in her lifetime so these kids knew what this meant to her, to have a success. These kids were hugging her and telling her how amazing she was and I could not hold back the tears. Cory was one of her biggest cheerleaders. I will forever be touched to my very soul for what I saw in that class and just how much love like that changes people. I was so proud of Cory and how much he stood up for and cheered these kids on and that he was a part of the miracles that changed lives. Everything to do with this class touched me. Cory was a hero to me as I watched him with some of these kids. My love grew even deeper for him. I admired his love and courage to be there for people who some of the world looked as damaged or unworthy of love. I am thankful I was honored to be his mother. 

Cory recently put this picture up on facebook and talking about this awesome future movie. He would have to be the hero in it. :)

    We gave Ronny a ride to school every day. He really struggled with self esteem and being picked on at school and Cory worked hard to be his friend because he knew what it felt like to be lonely and bullied. On one of our trips to school, we started talking about Valentine's day. Ronny said that he had never gotten any Valentines, that the kids in his classes had never liked him growing up. He said that when kids were supposed to bring Valentines for the whole class in elementary school, no one would give him any. That broke my heart. No child should ever have to feel like that. After Cory got home from school we decided we were going to give Ronny some valentines. That evening we bought a lot of valentines and a lot of candy. Our whole family helped and we spent hours writing sweet anonymous notes on the backs of valentines and adding candy. By the time we got done we had a great big bag full of valentines, candy and love. We drove over to his house. We wanted this to be anonymous so we sent Haley, our fastest and bravest, to ring the doorbell and run. The next day we picked up Ronny like we normally do. He was busting at the seams with excitement over all these valentines he had gotten the night before. He was super happy, happier than I had ever seen him. I really had to hold back the tears again. We asked him all about it but we never let him know it was us. He told EVERYBODY about his valentines and talked about it for weeks. I was so happy we could make a difference and he could feel loved for a day. 

     In high school Cory got quite a few chances to be a hero to struggling souls. Here is an account he wrote about: “I was in a computer class one semester with a boy that was often treated horribly. I had not tried to be nice to him in the past. In this class I decided, after a few weeks of not trying, to make the effort to try and accept my fellow student. We would talk every day and tease each other a bit. I saw others in the room treat him like garbage. Had I been that mean? The other students soon began to be mean to me for being his friend, but I had committed myself and would not back down now, even if it meant being an outcast myself. I defended this kid many times and helped him fight off the rude and heartless kids in the room. One day I was talking to him and John said something along the lines of, “I bet you wish I wasn't in this class” and I replied, “Are you kidding? It’s great to have a friend like you!” I didn't even put much thought into what I said for it was a statement that I had said and heard many times before. When there was no reply I looked over at him and saw an astonishing look on his face. I think that that was one of the first times that he had heard someone saying he was their friend. It shocked me that a human could go their entire life having never heard those words. That sentence had never really meant as much to me as it does now. John has now graduated and I have not seen him in a long time, but I know now that he at least had one friend in school and that means the world to me.”

Like Joey's family said, "Love one another, even if they are different" and I hope together we can lights thousands of candles of happiness around the world

Broken Bones and Bodyguards

Cory had another bad experience on the mountain not long after the first one. He was seven years old. He wrote about it in his journal:

A picture Cory drew of himself skiing

February 17th: My family is full of skiers. I was started as a skier at a very young age. My family went skiing with a large group one particular Saturday. We were skiing and having a wonderful time. We had lunch in a cool lodge with a really great view. When the day was getting later, the adults decided to split into two groups. Me and Mrs. Jackson would go on easier runs on our way back to the car while the others skied just a few more runs and then they would meet up with us. Mrs. Jackson and I went on some fairly easy runs. Then it happened. I remember getting to a particularly flat part and thinking, “Oh, this is easy!” I relaxed and stood up straight. Then my right ski caught something and the tip of it spun around to my right. My leg violently twisted and I came crashing to the ground. I couldn't move. Every little movement or breath shot pain through my body. Mrs. Jackson came along with a few others who saw my crash and asked if I was OK. Through staggering breathes I told them I was hurt and that I couldn't move. Soon one man went to call for help, then paramedics arrived. They splinted my leg while pain shot through me. Tears rolled down my cheeks and into the snow. They loaded me up and strapped me onto a toboggan that was hooked to a snow mobile. They drove slowly to the medical lodge, every bump causing me more pain as I stared into the gray sky, flat on my back. 

They took an x-ray later at a different angle that looked worse than these because there was a big gap in the bone and a lot of cracks.

     X-rays showed that I had a long spiral break in my leg. This is one of the worst kinds you can get. A spiral break is more parallel to the bone than other breaks. It extends further than most breaks so it takes longer to heal. I had to have a cast that came from my toes up to the top of my leg.

   When I finally got home I was placed in the blue recliner, which has often been a hospital bed for different members of the family. I didn't move much from that spot. Every movement hurt. My recovery houses several memories. I remember people visiting me. They brought all sorts of gifts from candy and balloons to one of those magnetic-magic-hair toys where you give the bald man different hairstyles using a magnetic stylus. I remember visits from the Barker and Jackson families and several others. Thank you all for your support. 

We made him a bed on the floor in the family room. He couldn't make it upstairs to his room. If we even tried to get him vertical to go to the bathroom the pain was unbearable for him.

He got a lot of presents and cards from friends and family

    I also had my checkups. The doctor said the man at the ski resort who put my cast on did a very good job. Another time he marveled at how fast I was healing. He even put me in their “record book” there at the office. I attribute the fast healing to the Lord and a lot of milk (mostly the Lord though). 

This picture was hanging in the doctor's office. Cory told him that that was where he was skiing when he broke his leg.

Trying to learn to walk with crutches, painful and hard

    I also learned to walk again eventually. One day it was really bright and sunny outside. I had a perfect view of the back door from the blue chair I had gotten to know all too well. The family was coming in and out of that door as they goofed off and had fun outside. I was sick of being stuck there. My dad soon made a remark about how I needed to start walking again. The first time was the most painful. Soon I was using the crutches though. 

We made puppets and had a puppet show to entertain and keep Cory busy.

    I also soon returned to school. It was here that the school nurse showed me how to get up and down the stairs on crutches. In class they made me feel like a king. I got to prop my leg up on a chair and lean back some. I got a lot of attention too.

    Later, the school had its annual field day. I couldn't do much. They let me pick and choose what to do. They also let me do the 3-legged race since technically I did have 3 legs (2 crutches and my working leg). I got second place in that event. 

Cory was very happy when he got a shorter cast

The 3-legged race but where is his 3rd leg (other crutch)?

Cory's friends signing his new cast

More of field day

The kids with their field day ribbons. Cory got a white one for participation, 2nd place in the 3-legged race, the man in charge of hurdles gave him a 1st place ribbon for his winning smile and I gave him 3 (for #1 kid, good sport and a good attitude award)

We turned a broken umbrella into a bird for Cory

Cory even had a broken leg in one of our crazy family cards

    Eventually they moved me from a full cast to one that came to my knee, and then to a boot that I could take off. I really give thanks to my mom and all she did for me. She gave me a few sponge baths and helped me scratch inside my cast. My first bath was really an adventure as we had to try not to get the cast wet by placing it in a plastic bag. Then we had to position me in the tub so the cast was above the water and..... it was an adventure to say the least. One day I healed all the way..... and life went on.

Our family had a theme party once a month for fun. This was a clown party

Cory managed to stay on the tight-rope even with a broken leg

He was happy to get his cast off and get a boot

Cory's poor leg didn't look very good after months in casts

    The things I, his mother, remember the most about this long ordeal for Cory was the brutal first weeks. We had to wait a few days before we could get in to see the orthopedist. Cory was in a lot of pain and his toes were swollen and blue. We made him a bed on the floor in the family room because he couldn't make it up the stairs. He would sob all night and I would just hold him and not be able to do anything to help but give him pain medicine which didn't seem to help. I would hug him all night and hear him cry and cry in pain and wish I could take his pain away even for a few minutes. It is brutal watching a child suffer. One night Winn came down and the 3 of us hugged and cried. I will always have that memory in my head of our group hug on the floor. I would try to sing to Cory and tell him stories and my love for him really grew during this hard time. 

    The doctor told us that spiral breaks take a year to heal for adults but children can heal in six months. Cory had a hard time getting around with a full cast with a bend in it and with the pain. It was hard to do everything. In the beginning it took a long time just trying to get him to the bathroom and it took me hours just to get him up the stairs and help him take a bath because of the pain. 

    Cory kept falling using his crutches so I parked in a handicapped parking spot when I took him back to school because I knew he couldn't make it clear down the street. I was touched by his very sweet school teacher, who made him so comfortable at school with a pillow on a chair so his toes wouldn't swell up too tight. She also assigned him two body guards at school. One would walk on each side of him to make sure no one bumped into him and they would go everywhere with him and carry his books and backpack for him. I am grateful for these boys. I am so thankful for the people who love my children. I went over to the school to spend the day with Cory when he had field day. I expected he would have a terrible day and feel left out so I brought a picnic, some ribbons for him and some fun things for him to do. His class really included him. The teacher and kids all cheered him on and encouraged him to try the things he could do. This made a big difference to him that day.

     We had to take Cory to the doctor every few weeks. We kept praying as a family for him to heal quickly and his father gave him a priesthood blessing. The doctor was amazed at how fast Cory was healing and kept showing other doctors and the nurses his x-rays and saying over and over that he could not believe how fast Cory's bone was healing, a lot faster than he had ever seen before. He called it phenomenal and he thought Cory may hold a record for the fastest spiral break heal. He asked us permission to use Cory's case and his x-rays in a doctor's conference he was going to. I am thankful for Cory's doctor, Mrs. Jackson, his teacher, the school nurse, his friends, his classmates and his bodyguards. They all touched me with their kindness. I am also thankful for Cory and how well he handled it all. His leg healed in three months instead of six.

By May he was playing outside with his brothers and sisters. Here they are being pirates.