Being Bullied

     Cory loved his first grade teacher Mrs. Hammit. She was the kind of teacher that made sure every child, above anything else, learned that she loved them. During second grade Cory liked to visit her because he missed having her as a teacher. She was always happy to see him. Then we found out Mrs. Hammit had cancer. She continued to teach because she loved children, but as we visited her we noticed she was getting thinner and weaker. We were in awe that she kept teaching. She passed away while Cory was in the second grade. Cory was very sad. It was hard on him to lose a teacher he loved. It was the first time he lost someone he loved. Mrs. Hammit loved her students so much that if they had bad experiences at school, things weren't so bad because they had a teacher who loved them. 

Mrs. Hammit, Cory and his 1st grade class

Mrs. Hammit went to a lot of trouble to make 1st grade fun

Mrs. Hammit liked giving her students awards to make them feel important

     When Cory was in the sixth grade, a boy in his class named Joey committed suicide. It was so sad to know that someone so young, with his whole life ahead of him, had given up on life and its future possibilities. Cory and I went to Joey's funeral. These young sixth grade kids filled the church. Cory and I looked at all of Joey's smiling pictures lining the wall of the church and sat through his very sad funeral. I kept looking at Cory and then at this boy's mother and reflecting on how she must feel to lose her son so young. I kept squeezing Cory's arm and hugging him and thinking how much I loved him and how hard it would be if that ever happened to me. I knew more than I ever had before that day, that my number one job as a mother was to make sure my children knew every day how much I loved them, that no matter what happened to them in life, no matter how hard things got, that home would be a soft happy place for them to fall and there would be a mother there who loved them more than life itself. I knew I had to give being a mother 110%. This was written on Joey's funeral program: 

After the funeral we all released balloons into the sky. We talked about how we hoped Joey was looking down from Heaven at how many people loved him. 

     Then came middle school, a time when Cory really would need me and a home to feel love. Middle school was a hard time for him. He described himself in his journal as a skinny, weak kid with braces and glasses and the kids teased him about being a nerd. I saw him as a handsome, talented, compassionate, smart boy who could always make me laugh. 

Cory won 1st place and a cash prize for the best ornament in a contest held at his Orthodontist's office, so braces weren't all bad

Cory was smart and always on the honor roll

      Then a boy started bullying Cory relentlessly at middle school and pushing him around at lunch. I am peaceful by nature and I seldom get mad but when I found out someone was making Cory's life miserable, it was like building a fire in me. Cory would come home upset and sad and he didn't want to go to school at all. When this boy would push Cory around, Cory said his best friend would just stand there and not try to help him or say anything. Cory made a promise to himself that he would never do that, that if he saw a friend or someone getting picked on he was going to do what he could to help them. I went to the school with Cory and we talked to the counselor. She was sweet with Cory and promised him that the boy would be talked to and Cory would be protected. She kept her promise and this boy left him alone after that. I am thankful for his wonderful counselor. 

Cory could have used some bodyguards at school

Cory drew this picture for me. I wished I could have protected him from everything bad.

    Several times after that Cory had the opportunity to keep the promise he made that day. I taught Cory's Sunday school class at church when he was in high school. I had a class of about 12 kids. I had been a teacher a lot at church and always had mostly well adjusted kids from happy homes. This class had a lot of kids who were really struggling in their lives with a lot of hard trials. I had never taught a class like this before. We had a big mix of kids, quite a few with some pretty big problems. There were several kids who had bad home lives, some with drug problems, self esteem problems, being bullied, etc. I worried over these kids and I grew to love them when I saw into their hearts and souls. Cory was one of a minority that came from a very happy home and really knew who he was and what he believed in. I was in awe of him during the time I taught this class, at how much he accepted and loved people for who they were, flaws and all. Our class kept getting bigger and bigger because kids would come to my class who were supposed to be in the younger class. The Sunday school president would sometimes get mad at me and tell me I needed to send these kids back to the class they were supposed to be in. One boy, named Ronny told this man that he would not come to church at all if he couldn't be in my class, that the kids in our class were a lot nicer than the kids in his class. One of the reasons was Cory. Cory always stuck up for him when anyone picked on him. Ronny was loved and accepted in our class and it made a big difference. We had a girl named Sami in our class who was living with an aunt because her mother was a drug addict. Sami had had a lot of problems with drugs herself and she was flunking all of her classes in high school. The love of this class was amazing to watch. One day when Sami came to class she was very excited because she had a D in one of her classes. No one in the class made fun of the fact she was excited about getting a D or bragged about their own grades. Everyone knew how huge this was for her, how far she had come. Sami had poured out her heart and soul in class about all the horrors and sadness she had seen in her lifetime so these kids knew what this meant to her, to have a success. These kids were hugging her and telling her how amazing she was and I could not hold back the tears. Cory was one of her biggest cheerleaders. I will forever be touched to my very soul for what I saw in that class and just how much love like that changes people. I was so proud of Cory and how much he stood up for and cheered these kids on and that he was a part of the miracles that changed lives. Everything to do with this class touched me. Cory was a hero to me as I watched him with some of these kids. My love grew even deeper for him. I admired his love and courage to be there for people who some of the world looked as damaged or unworthy of love. I am thankful I was honored to be his mother. 

Cory recently put this picture up on facebook and talking about this awesome future movie. He would have to be the hero in it. :)

    We gave Ronny a ride to school every day. He really struggled with self esteem and being picked on at school and Cory worked hard to be his friend because he knew what it felt like to be lonely and bullied. On one of our trips to school, we started talking about Valentine's day. Ronny said that he had never gotten any Valentines, that the kids in his classes had never liked him growing up. He said that when kids were supposed to bring Valentines for the whole class in elementary school, no one would give him any. That broke my heart. No child should ever have to feel like that. After Cory got home from school we decided we were going to give Ronny some valentines. That evening we bought a lot of valentines and a lot of candy. Our whole family helped and we spent hours writing sweet anonymous notes on the backs of valentines and adding candy. By the time we got done we had a great big bag full of valentines, candy and love. We drove over to his house. We wanted this to be anonymous so we sent Haley, our fastest and bravest, to ring the doorbell and run. The next day we picked up Ronny like we normally do. He was busting at the seams with excitement over all these valentines he had gotten the night before. He was super happy, happier than I had ever seen him. I really had to hold back the tears again. We asked him all about it but we never let him know it was us. He told EVERYBODY about his valentines and talked about it for weeks. I was so happy we could make a difference and he could feel loved for a day. 

     In high school Cory got quite a few chances to be a hero to struggling souls. Here is an account he wrote about: “I was in a computer class one semester with a boy that was often treated horribly. I had not tried to be nice to him in the past. In this class I decided, after a few weeks of not trying, to make the effort to try and accept my fellow student. We would talk every day and tease each other a bit. I saw others in the room treat him like garbage. Had I been that mean? The other students soon began to be mean to me for being his friend, but I had committed myself and would not back down now, even if it meant being an outcast myself. I defended this kid many times and helped him fight off the rude and heartless kids in the room. One day I was talking to him and John said something along the lines of, “I bet you wish I wasn't in this class” and I replied, “Are you kidding? It’s great to have a friend like you!” I didn't even put much thought into what I said for it was a statement that I had said and heard many times before. When there was no reply I looked over at him and saw an astonishing look on his face. I think that that was one of the first times that he had heard someone saying he was their friend. It shocked me that a human could go their entire life having never heard those words. That sentence had never really meant as much to me as it does now. John has now graduated and I have not seen him in a long time, but I know now that he at least had one friend in school and that means the world to me.”

Like Joey's family said, "Love one another, even if they are different" and I hope together we can lights thousands of candles of happiness around the world