God Sent Us a Hero

    Haley had had a rough school year trying to play the sports she loves with the blisters in her eyelids, wearing glasses and with her allergies. I didn't think things could get any worse. 

The family loves to ski together

Haley going down the moguls. She is an excellent skier.

    On the 10^th of April, Winn, Cory and Haley took a day off of school and work because a big storm had dumped a lot of snow in the mountains and it was their last chance to go skiing for the season. I was at home and got a call from Haley at 12:30. She was crying and she said she felt scared. She had a bad headache and she was very confused. She kept repeating things and forgetting what she had said to me a few minutes earlier. She said she couldn't walk because the right side of her body was numb and that she kept drooling out of the side of her mouth. She said she also couldn't see out of her right eye and she felt sick to her stomach. I could tell from her confusion and symptoms that she had a concussion. I kept asking her what happened and trying to tell her to ask someone in the lodge for help but she couldn't understand me or even remember what I had said one minute later. I said things to her over and over, even trying to get her to hand her phone to someone else in the lodge. She was emotional and scared and didn't understand me and that scared her more. Then I lost the call. I tried to call her back, call Winn and Cory and I got no answer. I knelt down and prayed for her and worried about her all day. It is scary when your child is going through something hard and it is all out of your control. Haley later wrote this account of what happened that morning: One fine powder skiing day I decided to race my brother Cory. I skied out in front, because I was winning and I reached the end of the moguls and began to turn, to slow down so I could stop. I didn't know my brother was so close behind me and he didn't see me turning in time and he slammed right into me. We hit heads and then I fell and hit my head hard a second time on the ground. (They were wearing helmets) The collision caused my ski binding to rip right off my ski. When I regained consciousness I had a horrendous headache. I skied the rest of the way down on one ski where my dad was there waiting for me, with another pair of skis. I felt sick to my stomach, had a bad headache and I felt like I couldn't see. I didn't want to do another ski run but my dad assured me that I would feel better once I started skiing again. (Winn has fallen a lot and just didn't know how bad Haley was) Through my dad's eyes skiing makes everything better. I couldn't see anything when I went down, it was like everything was foggy and I couldn't focus my eyes. So I kept falling over and I hit my head a few more times. So I told my dad that I was going into the ski lodge. I went and sat down and I couldn't think straight. I knew something was wrong. I couldn't operate my right hand. I couldn't close the right side of my mouth, so I was drooling. I couldn't walk because my right leg kept giving out. I couldn't remember how to pray but I know that at the time I had a prayer in my heart. I just know that I was pleading for help from my Heavenly Father. I felt bad and I needed comfort. That is when my brother Cory came in and I felt great comfort in knowing someone was there to protect me. I couldn't remember what a boot was called or what a cheerio was or that I told Cory it was 5:30 when it was really 11:00, or that I kept asking, “Why did you sneeze?” when I actually was trying to say, “Where is dad?” But I feel like Cory was there to explain things to me and calm me down. I am grateful that my brother was there with me!

    The skiers didn't get home until 4:00. Haley was pale and still not feeling well. She still had a bad headache and she couldn't find words for things. I wanted to take her to the doctor but she didn't want to go. She felt like her head was slowly clearing and she just wanted to rest after a bad day. I watched her closely for the next few days and she seemed to be doing fine. I asked her a few days later if she had any after effects and she told me she thought her concussion had made her dumber. 

Haley's greatest passion at the time was soccer

    Haley got permission to wear her contacts again, but only while playing sports and life was good again. I kept worrying about her playing soccer and doing headers. I did not want her to play. She desperately wanted to play the rest of the season and promised me she wouldn't do any headers. She didn't want to tell her coach about her concussion because another girl on her team had gotten pulled off the team for that reason. She begged me and I wished now I had been the bad guy and said no. She had 2 to 3 games a week for the rest of the month. She always had bad headaches after her games. She played her last game the last day of April. She played a great game and her team won. She played a lot more than usual that game and she also did a header, which she promised not to do. After the game, Haley had a horrible headache, she couldn't see very well, or walk straight, part of her body went numb and she couldn't put the lid back on her water bottle. I was glad the soccer season was over because I knew she needed time for her head to heal.

Haley and her soccer team dressed up together during spirit week.

The end of the season banquet

    At the same time Haley had moved up to the A vials for her allergy shots and her throat and arm swelled up. She had a bad few days from this scary reaction and then she got really sick and lost her voice. She was wiped out. I was actually glad she was sick so she would lay low and rest. She made it into the fourth level choir at school which was unusual for a soon to be sophomore so I was glad she had some safer passions. Then she got whooping cough and a high fever. She spent weeks being very sick.

She begged me to let her run in Columbine's Run for Remembrance

Running in the race

She made it but felt terrible afterward

    In May Haley wanted to run in the Columbine Run for Remembrance and she said she felt fine. Adam and I went to cheer her on. She ran the 3.5 miles. I didn't want her to run but she wouldn't listen to me. Every time she ran in soccer she would get a bad headache. After the race she had a bad headache and she couldn’t see very well. She promised me again she would take it easy.

    That summer was rough with her allergies. I remember one day when her eyes were swollen and she was coughing and sneezing because she was having problems breathing. Haley, Cory and I had gone to the grocery store to pick up a few things and pick up her prescription for an epi-pen and an inhaler because her allergies were considered severe. I was in horrendous pain preceding a second reconstructive surgery on my neck that summer. I sat down in the middle of the store and started crying because the pain was so bad. Haley was having trouble talking because of her swollen throat and she still sat down by me and tried to help me. Cory offered to just buy everything so we could both have a melt down in the middle of the store. Hard experiences are rough but these are the times we built the strongest bonds as a family, times when my children became my heroes. She had a lot of headaches that summer and the blisters got bad in her eyelids again. 

Haley and I both had a bad year and we cried a lot together

    Haley loved sports so she played volleyball in the fall and ran cross country. She worked hard in cross country, running as much as 6 miles at a time. She got headaches but she wanted to do it. Then she had a long race where she ran through weeds she is allergic too, and through a river 3 times and even up a muddy hill. She made it to the end of the race but she was very sick, gasping for air, covered in mud, wet, had a bad headache, her feet were covered in blisters, and she was sick. She cried all the way home gasping for air through her swollen throat. With the concussion after-effects and her allergies and asthma she was in bad shape. She was beaten and she told me she could never go through that again. That was her last race.

Ready to race

All the girls loved Haley

She was in agony after her races

Warming up

At the staring line of her last race, a big one with a lot of other schools

Ready to take on the muddy hill

This is just one toe. Her feet were covered in blisters

    Haley played on a church volleyball team in the fall and then in January played basketball. During one of her basketball games she played really hard the whole game because there were no subs. She took a hard fall later in the game and I felt instantly scared for her. She got up and kept playing and she seemed to be fine. 

Her volleyball team

Her basketball team

    After the game, Haley was sitting on the stage and I went over there because she wasn't coming down after the game. Her friends told me something was wrong with her. She was confused and she didn't seem to know where she was or what was happening. She got a super bad headache and held her head and started crying. I took her home and by the time we got there she had lost feeling in her right side, couldn’t walk, couldn't see, was sobbing because of the pain in her head and she got sick to her stomach again. She kept asking me questions that didn't make sense. I would try to answer her and then she would ask me again. She kept asking me over and over, “Where is February?” She seemed desperate for the answer to that question. I would answer her and she would ask me again over and over. I called the doctor, who told me to take her to urgent care. When I took her there and they saw how bad she was they sent us to the emergency room and even offered to call for an ambulance. She was there for 4 hours and they did a CAT scan on her head. We were able to go home when she felt better. The doctor told us she had gotten some nerve and blood vessel damage in her two or more falls and the nerves and blood vessels were short-circuiting when she ran or bounced her head around in sports. We later took her to the doctor but got a physician's assistant instead. This lady used to work for a neurologist who specialized in concussions. She told us that because Haley spiraled down after exercise, that when her heart rate went up, pumping her blood harder, that the blood couldn't get to parts of her brain, which made her brain shut down. She knew a lot about concussions and told us Haley needed to see a neurologist specializing in concussions. We called but the wait to see a doctor was four months. Haley's life just unraveled at that point. She had to give up all the sports she loved so much. She had problems the rest of the year with balance, headaches, wanting to sleep all day some days, depression, and a lot of other things. The fall had really changed her life. With this added to severe allergies, asthma and her eye disease, some bad bouts of sickness and high fevers, this poor girl was wiped out physically and emotionally. In my desperation of not knowing what to do for her, I poured out my heart in prayer for help. Every time I got on my knees and prayed I kept getting this voice in my head that said, “Call Jasen!” I got that strong impression so many times in one day that I knew he would be the answer to our prayers. 

    I called Jasen. This is the account I wrote in my journal about the call: I called up Jasen to ask him questions about his concussions. I was thankful that he answered the phone. I talked to him for a half hour. He was so sweet, nice, concerned and informative. We had a great talk. When I would mention any problems Haley was having from her concussion he could really relate. He has had 6 concussions. The last one happened while he was playing basketball and it took away two years of his life, changed his personality and he had to sell his business. He has had a rough road. He said it was the worst two years of his life. He would even feel suicidal and almost black out while driving from the headaches. While I talked to him, I could make a better connection as to why Haley has had bad crying episodes, has trouble with math when she didn't before, has a lot more headaches, especially when she is stressed. It all adds up now. He told me he would be glad to talk to Haley, that he felt better talking to people who understood what he was going through and what a concussion does to your brain. He also said he would write down things that helped him. He was so sweet and he really wants to help Haley. He is the answer to my prayers. What a great person he is. 

Jasen, our hero

     Here is my journal account of the day Jasen came over to see Haley: Jasen came over to talk to Haley about her concussions. I was touched that he would do that. Winn, Haley and I listened to Jasen as he told us everything that had happened to him. Jasen and Haley talked about all the different things that concussions bring. Haley would say, “Are you sensitive to light?” and Jasen could validate it with a story of his own. That happened over and over again. I had to fight to hold back the tears the whole time he was here. As they talked, I could see this connection and how much better Haley felt to know she wasn't crazy, that somebody knew exactly how she was feeling and why. It helped us as parents to be able to connect the dots; the problems with math, vertigo when she tried to dance in the play, headaches with stress, the need to sleep and sleep after stressful things, her mood swings, keeping one hand on the wall walking the halls at school to keep her balance, etc. Jasen has had it a lot worse than Haley. A lot of noise in a room would make him throw up, he has had erratic behavior, suicidal thoughts, sleeping 20 hours a day, etc. Wow, he has had a very rough 2 years and he was still suffering the affects of his concussion. We talked for over an hour. It was an incredible hour. Jasen gave Haley a hug and told her to call him anytime day or night and he gave her his cell phone number in case she had any questions or problems. He gave us a lot of helpful suggestions. I am SO THANKFUL for what he said and did for all of us. I found a quiet place to pray and I thanked my Heavenly Father for sending us a hero and then I let myself cry and cry.

    Jasen asked us and Haley frequently over the years how she was doing. He had quite a few talks with her. He was truly a lifeline to this poor girl when she hit rock bottom. They understood each other and this nightmare they were stuck in. The following year she started doing better. Winn had missed Haley on the ski slopes and really wanted her to go with him. I was scared because it had been such a horrible year. I prayed that she wouldn't be able to go if any harm would come to her from skiing or if her brain was not ready for this sport. That ski season she woke up sick one day they were going to go. Another time, her grandpa was staying with us. Everyone, including him, was going to go skiing the next day. When we got up in the morning he said he tossed and turned all night and couldn't sleep at all. He said, I can't shake the feeling Haley should not go skiing today. He looked at Winn and said, “You cannot take this girl skiing” so she didn't go. Then another time, the day before a ski trip, Winn was working on his car and went over to Auto Zone to get some car parts. He ran into Jasen. Jasen said he went over to Auto Zone because he was led by the spirit to go there, he had nothing to buy and he had no money to spend. His concussion had taken away his business and income. He was still recovering when he helped us. Jasen just felt like he should go to Auto Zone at the exact time. When he saw Winn he asked him about skiing. Jasen very strongly told Winn he could not take Haley skiing and risk her falling and going through what he had. I knew again my prayers were answered, that Haley was not ready to ski again. She didn't go skiing that winter. It was hard to see her lose so much of what she loved to do but keeping her safe was more important. 

Haley wanted to sleep and sleep

    This was a hard experience but what we learned from this was that God will send you a hero when you need one most, that sometimes people go through bad things so that they can help someone else. Jasen had been through a horrible ordeal and he was still suffering and still he was willing to reach out and help someone else. Thank you Jasen, our hero, we will never forget what you have done for our family. Jasen wrote to us the following:
Jasen Pollock : Mosiah 2:17  When I was suffering with my own afflictions I prayed that my burdens would be lifted. I actually remember begging for relief. Instead of fixing my afflictions the Lord asked me to lighten others afflictions and I would soon be healed. My symptoms lasted for five years. But my burden was lighter because I forgot about my self (the best I could) and served my fellow man. Through service I got to know my Savior's love for me.

Haley loved everything active. It was hard to keep her safe

    This poor child went through another big trial during this same time that I haven't even mentioned yet. I will talk about that in my next chapter. This poor girl really got hit hard but she is another one of my heroes for the way she faced all the bad things life handed her at once and rose up stronger each time she was knocked down.

When Life Hands You Lemons

A freshman in high school

     

    Haley had really made the most of her life leading up to high school and she was excited for what came next. She tried out and made it in the second level choir in high school, she was taking voice lessons and she was asked to sing often at events and in singing competitions. She tried out and made it on the high school junior varsity soccer team. She played on a club soccer team, joined track, and played basketball and volleyball on church teams. Everything seemed great and she was happy. She was happy her braces and glasses were in her past. Life was great!

She was her teams leading scorer

I think Haley is trying to be taller in this picture. She was already the tallest player.

She played in an all day soccer-athon at the high school.

Her basketball team

Her volleyball team

High School choir

She loved music. You can see by the posters on the wall how obsessed she was with soccer and that was only one wall.

Haley also drew soccer doodles on her school notes all the time

    Right before Haley started high school, her eyes got red, irritated and swollen. This had happened many times before because of her allergies but this time they stayed that way. Her eyes were bothering her so much I took her to the eye doctor. The doctor showed me how the insides of her eyelids were a mass of blisters and ulcers. She was told not to wear her contacts and she had to put these special medicated drops in her eyes twice a day. When we went to her followup appointment a few weeks later her eyes were no better. She was put on steroid eye-drops and she was now using 2 sets of drops 6 times a day. She was told she had to go a longer period of time without contacts. She was devastated because her glasses had gotten thick with her bad eyesight and she felt ugly in them. She wanted to look pretty in high school. When we got home the day the doctor told her not to wear contacts and school was starting soon, she sobbed on my bed. Her older brother Cory came in when she was crying, he left, took his contacts out and came back in the room. He told her he would wear glasses with her and he kept telling her how smart she looked in glasses. He was so sweet with her it made me cry. These are the kinds of things that touch my heart the most. Her brother Brett who was on a mission wrote a letter to her saying, “ I love you a ton and I will pray for you. A little metal around your eyes can't change the fact that you're beyond beautiful inside and out. I think you will always be just as pretty no matter what happens.” 

Cory wore glasses with her to make her feel better.

     Her eyes would get a little better, she would get to wear contacts again and then her eyes would get really bad again. None of the drops were helping. This went on for her whole freshman year of high school. We were sent to an eye doctor who specializes in eye diseases. We finally had a name for her eye problems. It was giant papillary conjunctivitis. The doctor told us that the cells fill up with fluid when your eyes react to the foreign material collecting on contacts and it is worse with people who have allergies. She was told again to wear only her glasses. Again she cried. This was never going to end and she said glasses affected her self esteem. She was put on even stronger steroid drops that cost a fortune for a tiny bottle. The doctor told her if it didn't clear up the next time she came in she would have to wear only glasses for 5 years because her eyes would become permanently scared if she didn't. She had no choice. I took her to buy some new glasses and paid the extra cost for thinner lenses for a prescription as bad as hers. 

These are not Haley's eyes but this is what the giant papillary conjunctivitis looks like. You can see why her eyes hurt so much.

    I set an appointment with an allergy doctor so we could find out what was causing all her allergy problems. She lied on her stomach and her back was numbered with 72 numbers. They had all these tiny needles they stuck in her back, so they could see what she was allergic to. The doctor told us that they use such a tiny amount of the allergen that if you are allergic to something it swells up like a mosquito bite. They did the test and left the room. We had to wait for ten minutes for a reaction but the itch was driving Haley crazy. She couldn't stand it. She was told she could not touch her back. I picked up the sheet that covered her back and I was horrified to see her back covered in huge fiery red welts, one the size of a grapefruit. The nurse was shocked when she came in. She yelled at several of the nurses to come and take a look and said, “Have you ever seen a reaction like this before?” The doctor came back in and when he saw her back he said that in over 25 years practicing as an allergist he had never seen a reaction like hers. He told us that she was allergic to almost everything that grows. Her worst reaction was to sagebrush. He kept saying over and over, “Wow, this girl is allergic!” They usually rate the reaction from 1 to 4 with 4 being the worst. They gave a lot of hers 4+++. She started on allergy shots, which she had to have frequently for the next few years. But every time they got to the A vials she would have such a bad allergic reaction they would have to drop back to the B vials. She never could handle the A vials. She was also diagnosed with allergy induced asthma. When she would get breathing hard from sports, breathing in more deeply and quickly all those allergens she would sometimes end up gasping for air. This explained all the times she had had so much trouble breathing with soccer, biking and other sports. She loved sports, but allergies and her glasses turned playing sports and doing what she loved into a miserable experience.

I gave her a little present the day of testing to cheer her up with the note below

We were coloring Easter eggs and Haley put some of the yolk on her eye and pretended it was pollen. She has a great sense of humor.

     Haley kept playing all her sports and playing hard. She kept having allergy attacks, asthma and eye problems and she would call me if she couldn't breath or her eyes swelled up but only when it got severe. She just wanted to play the sports she loves. Her soccer club coach said she was the star player on the team and he wanted to make sure she was at all the games. Later in the school year her school soccer team started up. Her coach kept asking her if she could please stop wearing glasses. I was frustrated because she never told him why she had to wear glasses. She didn't want anyone to know. In one high school game she went to do a header and hit it hard with her face instead. Her glasses flew off into the grass and she got a bloody nose. She had such bad eyesight she couldn't find her glasses for a while and she was on her hands and knees in the grass looking for them. Then she put them on and they were bent and she had trouble keeping them on. I was watching the game and I wanted to cry. It was so hard as a mother not to go out on the field and help her find her glasses. She didn't tell her coach because she didn't want to be pulled off the field. She had blood all over her face and arm. She was playing on the side of the field of the opposing team and that coach kept asking her if she was OK. Her nose was bruised and it swelled up. In another game someone from the opposing team kicked the ball into her face and her glasses flew off and got bent again. She was taken out of the game and chewed out for wearing glasses. Her glasses were bent and the side of her face was bruised so she didn't get to play the rest of the game. She was in tears after that game. This team was also tougher to play on because the older girls were intimidating. She would have a clear shot on the goal and she would pass the ball off because the older girls would yell at her to pass the ball to them. She would because she would rather them have the glory than dislike her. That team was brutal to play on. She had a lot of rough games and shed quite a few tears but she was not going to quit. She was going to see this season through to the end because she had made a commitment to her team. She never told anyone why she was wearing glasses. She didn't want anyone feeling sorry for her. She just wanted to play soccer.

At a pre-season soccer dinner

This is Haley singing at a voice recital. A lady came up to her afterward and told her with her looks and talent she should do pageants. I wanted to hug and kiss this lady because Haley wouldn't believe me when I told her she was beautiful because I am her mother. This compliment really made Haley feel good.

     I remember a time when Haley was in the middle of all these problems, had had someone fall on her wrist in soccer and it kept popping out of place and hurting her, she had a swollen finger from basketball, her allergies were a mess, her eyes were swollen and she was sick with a fever. She was being beat up by these problems and still she had this never quit spirit. I shed a lot of tears when I was alone praying for her because it was hard watched her struggle. One day I came in her room when she was changing the sheets on her bed and she was singing and dancing with her sheets. She used music to cheer herself up. We had no idea she had more big problems coming up in April and through the next year. I had always heard that trials make us tougher and stronger. I hated seeing my children have trials. I wanted life to be easy and for them to always be happy. Haley amazed me in how she handled things. If I had to handle all she did at once (there is more to come) I think I would have wanted to give up. I cried when I saw her struggle but I also cried when I watched this amazing child just keep getting back up when life knocked her down. She also never complained to her friends or wanted anyone to feel sorry for her. She was an amazing friend who would do anything for her friends and they would not have a clue what she was going through. I will continue her story in my next chapter. Every new trial that came to her left me in awe of her strength, courage and love for others.

She was sick with a high fever and hit with allergy and eye problems. It wiped her out.