When Life Hands You Lemons

A freshman in high school

     

    Haley had really made the most of her life leading up to high school and she was excited for what came next. She tried out and made it in the second level choir in high school, she was taking voice lessons and she was asked to sing often at events and in singing competitions. She tried out and made it on the high school junior varsity soccer team. She played on a club soccer team, joined track, and played basketball and volleyball on church teams. Everything seemed great and she was happy. She was happy her braces and glasses were in her past. Life was great!

She was her teams leading scorer

I think Haley is trying to be taller in this picture. She was already the tallest player.

She played in an all day soccer-athon at the high school.

Her basketball team

Her volleyball team

High School choir

She loved music. You can see by the posters on the wall how obsessed she was with soccer and that was only one wall.

Haley also drew soccer doodles on her school notes all the time

    Right before Haley started high school, her eyes got red, irritated and swollen. This had happened many times before because of her allergies but this time they stayed that way. Her eyes were bothering her so much I took her to the eye doctor. The doctor showed me how the insides of her eyelids were a mass of blisters and ulcers. She was told not to wear her contacts and she had to put these special medicated drops in her eyes twice a day. When we went to her followup appointment a few weeks later her eyes were no better. She was put on steroid eye-drops and she was now using 2 sets of drops 6 times a day. She was told she had to go a longer period of time without contacts. She was devastated because her glasses had gotten thick with her bad eyesight and she felt ugly in them. She wanted to look pretty in high school. When we got home the day the doctor told her not to wear contacts and school was starting soon, she sobbed on my bed. Her older brother Cory came in when she was crying, he left, took his contacts out and came back in the room. He told her he would wear glasses with her and he kept telling her how smart she looked in glasses. He was so sweet with her it made me cry. These are the kinds of things that touch my heart the most. Her brother Brett who was on a mission wrote a letter to her saying, “ I love you a ton and I will pray for you. A little metal around your eyes can't change the fact that you're beyond beautiful inside and out. I think you will always be just as pretty no matter what happens.” 

Cory wore glasses with her to make her feel better.

     Her eyes would get a little better, she would get to wear contacts again and then her eyes would get really bad again. None of the drops were helping. This went on for her whole freshman year of high school. We were sent to an eye doctor who specializes in eye diseases. We finally had a name for her eye problems. It was giant papillary conjunctivitis. The doctor told us that the cells fill up with fluid when your eyes react to the foreign material collecting on contacts and it is worse with people who have allergies. She was told again to wear only her glasses. Again she cried. This was never going to end and she said glasses affected her self esteem. She was put on even stronger steroid drops that cost a fortune for a tiny bottle. The doctor told her if it didn't clear up the next time she came in she would have to wear only glasses for 5 years because her eyes would become permanently scared if she didn't. She had no choice. I took her to buy some new glasses and paid the extra cost for thinner lenses for a prescription as bad as hers. 

These are not Haley's eyes but this is what the giant papillary conjunctivitis looks like. You can see why her eyes hurt so much.

    I set an appointment with an allergy doctor so we could find out what was causing all her allergy problems. She lied on her stomach and her back was numbered with 72 numbers. They had all these tiny needles they stuck in her back, so they could see what she was allergic to. The doctor told us that they use such a tiny amount of the allergen that if you are allergic to something it swells up like a mosquito bite. They did the test and left the room. We had to wait for ten minutes for a reaction but the itch was driving Haley crazy. She couldn't stand it. She was told she could not touch her back. I picked up the sheet that covered her back and I was horrified to see her back covered in huge fiery red welts, one the size of a grapefruit. The nurse was shocked when she came in. She yelled at several of the nurses to come and take a look and said, “Have you ever seen a reaction like this before?” The doctor came back in and when he saw her back he said that in over 25 years practicing as an allergist he had never seen a reaction like hers. He told us that she was allergic to almost everything that grows. Her worst reaction was to sagebrush. He kept saying over and over, “Wow, this girl is allergic!” They usually rate the reaction from 1 to 4 with 4 being the worst. They gave a lot of hers 4+++. She started on allergy shots, which she had to have frequently for the next few years. But every time they got to the A vials she would have such a bad allergic reaction they would have to drop back to the B vials. She never could handle the A vials. She was also diagnosed with allergy induced asthma. When she would get breathing hard from sports, breathing in more deeply and quickly all those allergens she would sometimes end up gasping for air. This explained all the times she had had so much trouble breathing with soccer, biking and other sports. She loved sports, but allergies and her glasses turned playing sports and doing what she loved into a miserable experience.

I gave her a little present the day of testing to cheer her up with the note below

We were coloring Easter eggs and Haley put some of the yolk on her eye and pretended it was pollen. She has a great sense of humor.

     Haley kept playing all her sports and playing hard. She kept having allergy attacks, asthma and eye problems and she would call me if she couldn't breath or her eyes swelled up but only when it got severe. She just wanted to play the sports she loves. Her soccer club coach said she was the star player on the team and he wanted to make sure she was at all the games. Later in the school year her school soccer team started up. Her coach kept asking her if she could please stop wearing glasses. I was frustrated because she never told him why she had to wear glasses. She didn't want anyone to know. In one high school game she went to do a header and hit it hard with her face instead. Her glasses flew off into the grass and she got a bloody nose. She had such bad eyesight she couldn't find her glasses for a while and she was on her hands and knees in the grass looking for them. Then she put them on and they were bent and she had trouble keeping them on. I was watching the game and I wanted to cry. It was so hard as a mother not to go out on the field and help her find her glasses. She didn't tell her coach because she didn't want to be pulled off the field. She had blood all over her face and arm. She was playing on the side of the field of the opposing team and that coach kept asking her if she was OK. Her nose was bruised and it swelled up. In another game someone from the opposing team kicked the ball into her face and her glasses flew off and got bent again. She was taken out of the game and chewed out for wearing glasses. Her glasses were bent and the side of her face was bruised so she didn't get to play the rest of the game. She was in tears after that game. This team was also tougher to play on because the older girls were intimidating. She would have a clear shot on the goal and she would pass the ball off because the older girls would yell at her to pass the ball to them. She would because she would rather them have the glory than dislike her. That team was brutal to play on. She had a lot of rough games and shed quite a few tears but she was not going to quit. She was going to see this season through to the end because she had made a commitment to her team. She never told anyone why she was wearing glasses. She didn't want anyone feeling sorry for her. She just wanted to play soccer.

At a pre-season soccer dinner

This is Haley singing at a voice recital. A lady came up to her afterward and told her with her looks and talent she should do pageants. I wanted to hug and kiss this lady because Haley wouldn't believe me when I told her she was beautiful because I am her mother. This compliment really made Haley feel good.

     I remember a time when Haley was in the middle of all these problems, had had someone fall on her wrist in soccer and it kept popping out of place and hurting her, she had a swollen finger from basketball, her allergies were a mess, her eyes were swollen and she was sick with a fever. She was being beat up by these problems and still she had this never quit spirit. I shed a lot of tears when I was alone praying for her because it was hard watched her struggle. One day I came in her room when she was changing the sheets on her bed and she was singing and dancing with her sheets. She used music to cheer herself up. We had no idea she had more big problems coming up in April and through the next year. I had always heard that trials make us tougher and stronger. I hated seeing my children have trials. I wanted life to be easy and for them to always be happy. Haley amazed me in how she handled things. If I had to handle all she did at once (there is more to come) I think I would have wanted to give up. I cried when I saw her struggle but I also cried when I watched this amazing child just keep getting back up when life knocked her down. She also never complained to her friends or wanted anyone to feel sorry for her. She was an amazing friend who would do anything for her friends and they would not have a clue what she was going through. I will continue her story in my next chapter. Every new trial that came to her left me in awe of her strength, courage and love for others.

She was sick with a high fever and hit with allergy and eye problems. It wiped her out.